To know me, you must know that I NEVER collected barbie dolls (except the Michael Jackson and the Eskimo one, lol) because all I ever wanted were Pound Puppies and Breyer Horses. Both of them made the little girl I was has happy as can be. But because we lived in the city and were poor I did not get a chance at being around a REAL horse until a little later (when I was in a foster home). But I did get to start my life with dogs as soon as I could beg my mom for a puppy from the next door neighbor when his dog had a litter. My mom couldn't deny me and I named him Gumball because of his round puppy belly he loved to have scratched. It was then that I knew that I was good with animals. I had to tell you why I was going to talk about my dog on my horse blog, because to me the dogs and the horses are one and the same. They both have a piece of my heart.
So. The point. Just before Halloween I had to put down my best friend. His name is/was Maximillion. He was the dog of my dreams. Everything I could ask for. He was my shoulder to cry on, my rock, my protector, my comedian, my partner and my ultimate friend. He was a purebred boxer and I bought him for myself when I graduated college. I had been without a dog for more than four years. I NEEDED a dog in my life again. He came bounding through the home of the people selling puppies after the rest of his siblings had come and gone. I fell in love instantly. I remember it like it was yesterday. He was so tiny and little. He had a tan patch over one eye but not the other and to me it made him all the more perfect. I threw down the only money I had to my name and took home the tiniest boxer puppy.
I had no idea that he would grow to be a 90 lbs. boxer that looked part bulldog because he was so stout and muscular. As a puppy, he was out of control and that's putting it nicely. He was crazy! Yet some how always kept his goodness intact. He would run away from me when I called. He would jump on any man or boy thinking they were his personal play thing. He would chase after the deer and the porcupines and the MOOSE no matter how much I told him he was gonna get hurt. Yeah my dog chased down huge moose just because he could. lol He did it for fun but one time he did it to protect my mom, my baby girl and me. He was fearless. My mom used to complain about him. She honestly hated him. But soon after he grew up a little bit, between 2 and 3 years old, she came to realize that as crazy as he was he was perfect for us. He and my niece (who I will refer to as my daughter from now on) would play for hours together. We knew they were in trouble together when it got quiet. lol He was her constant companion. If she was outside in the yard without him, he would worry and pace til she was inside safe. He adored her.
But he adored me more. He would protect me from anyone, even those he loved and trusted. No one was allowed close to me if he didn't like the energy or if it was too playful. I could call his name and he would run to me, face the demon (like my demon brother, lol) and lean on my leg and prepare for battle. Like I said he was brave and loyal and made me better because he loved me. I trusted him to know when we were playing and when it was real. He always knew. I never worried he would hurt my daughter or get to aggressive with someone else. He just knew me so well and knew what was best for the family. When I traveled for work I felt my mom and kid were safe because I knew my Max was there to protect them. I just knew.
Max wasn't that old, but he was BIG and for big dogs long life is not likely. He aged quickly. Before I knew it my exuberant, crazy puppy was a grizzled, quiet and dignified man of the house. And then he got a limp. I took him to the vet for a something completely different, but I asked them to check his leg out because he was limping. They wanted to do xrays and I knew it was over even before I saw the three inch long mass that had eaten thru he whole ulna (one of the bones in the front leg). I was shocked, how could my dog be WALKING when he was missing a whole chunk of his bone??? The vet said it was normal for large dogs to be so stoic about pain, but my heart hurt from the knowledge that my boy was in pain. The diagnosis was not good. They gave him 3 to 6 months to live. They wanted to amputate but I didn't think my Max would want to lose his Dogness for only a few more months. I thought he would rather live out his days as a WHOLE dog. He got lots of pain meds and was kept comfortable and limited on physical activity so he wouldn't break his leg. We waited and enjoyed our time with him knowing he would let us know when he was ready. It felt like he knew that we knew that he was dying. Like he knew all along and was glad he wasn't alone in the knowledge anymore. He seemed to show his pain more. Though my mom says that he would lay around all day and then act "normal" when I got home from work. She said he waited all day for me to come home, but he would hide his pain from me. He was always so happy to see me, he wriggled his but at me and did a half turn to lean on my leg and lift his face for a kiss and a pet. He waited everyday of his life for me. My schedule is always changing but somehow he always knew. The other dogs seemed to know too he was going to leave us soon. Kuna, his girl, started ignoring him (a more "natural" reaction) but Panda, his adopted daughter, showed him true love. While he sat in his favorite spot outside overlooking our great back yard view, in the shade of course, his Panda would bring him all of their toys to him, every single one of them. She would drop it by his face and wait for him to get up and play. When he didn't she would find him another one. When I got home from work one day, he was still sitting out there surrounded by ten toys and Panda sleeping next her dad. My mom had texted me that she was doing that but I didn't believe her until I got home and saw him buried in his toys. Panda loved him.
His last day the weather was gorgeous. It was the Saturday before Halloween. My mom had told me how horrible he was doing and how he put on the show for me at night when I got home. How he was in way more pain then he would ever let me know. He didn't want me to worry. He wanted to be perfect for me. But it was time, my mom said. We scheduled the appointment for the mobile vet and we had the best day with him we could. A huge bone. All the ball games he loved and hadn't been allowed to do for the fear of a broken leg. A long walk in the back meadow. Lots of loves. His favorite food. Everything was about Max that day. It was a good day to die.
